CAUTION

What you read here may be hazardous to your sanity. ....photos

Monday, March 07, 2005

I have converted.

If you care about me, you're going to have to do so on www.livejournal.com/users/icanjustpretend

So long, blogger. Maybe we will meet again someday.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

While we're on the subject of strange dreams....

When I was 5 or 6, i had this re-occuring dream for weeks at a time.

I was in my neighborhood, playing outside with three friends. We saw this garage door open, and two big fat bald kids, maybe in eighth grade, came and grabbed us and pulled us into the garage. They strapped us into this chair that was made of the top parts of shopping carts that little kids sit it. They left us there for a few hours while they went inside the house.

When they came, out, they unstrapped us and pulled us out of the shopping cart chairs, then told us that their friend wanted to meet us. We were led inside, and this witch came out with cookies for us. She had green hair and eyes. She had purple skin, and a dark green dress on.

We wouldn't take the cookies. We started crying because we wanted to go home, but she just kept trying to cheer us up with the cookies. Finally, we decided that she was nice and probably just trying to make friends. We ate the cookies, and they made us kind of tired.

She led us all into the bathroom, then closed the door. She pulled out a pocketknife and told us she had to slice our arms. She demonstrated on hers, and although bloody, she seemed unharmed. She started to cut my friend's arm, and I stopped her. "Let me go first," I said.

She sliced my arm a few times, and each time she did she seemed to be more and more focused on just watching the blood. When she seemed distracted enough, I grabbed her head, shoved it in the toilet, and flushed. I told my friends to go call the cop. She couldn't pull her head ut fo the toilet because her green hair was so long, it had been sucked down.

The cops arrived. The dream ended.

...I had this dream when I was freaking FIVE YEARS OLD.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

We might need an interpreter for this one.

I had a dream last night.

I think I might have had it before.

I was one of those girls who went to college parties just to scope out the hottest guy there and sleep with him before the night was over.

I'm at this one party, and I'm playing poker with a bunch of guys. One of them is really hot, but unlike the previous guys, he has a personality. He's witty and smart and completely crazy. He did exactly what I did at every party, only with girls. Yeah. He kept making me smile. We end up in one of the bedrooms, making out. We get ready to start things up and we stop. We can't do it, because we don't want it to be like every other hookup.

We end up dating. We have an awesome summer. By my 18th birthday, we're still together. He comes to my house at 5:30 AM to wake me up, blindfold me, and take me outside. He takes the blindfold off, and there's my car- a 1966 Shelby Cobra, sitting in my driveway, filled with orchids. He says it was the crappiest one he could find, because he knew I wanted to fix it up and make it mine. He tells me I can keep it at his dad's shop, and he'll help me out a little, but it's my car, and I get to do the real work.

I start crying the next day cause I don't think I deserve him, and I couldn't ever do anything that nice for him.

I drive the car off a bridge and die.

Monday, February 28, 2005

SWEET

My little brother's AIM says "Sweet!" in the voice of Napoleon Dynamite every time he receives an IM. He had the volume all the way up, and he's sitting accross the room from me. I couldn't help myself.


sirenxox (7:40:51 PM): sweet
ScrewYouImAPimp (7:41:02 PM): okndfjbp erjnj;bmhndafsm
sirenxox (7:41:03 PM): sweet
ScrewYouImAPimp (7:41:03 PM): gmrwehi'fv
ScrewYouImAPimp (7:41:04 PM): werrwlkfsd;im
sirenxox (7:41:05 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:07 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:08 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:10 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:11 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:18 PM): sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet sweet
sirenxox (7:41:27 PM): sweet
sirenxox (7:41:57 PM): mother of god
sirenxox (7:42:13 PM): honey nut cheerios
sirenxox (7:42:22 PM): aftertaste
sirenxox (7:42:29 PM): strawberry condom
sirenxox (7:42:37 PM): lovin'
sirenxox (7:42:50 PM): sky nam
sirenxox (7:43:08 PM): ie pie
sirenxox (7:43:22 PM): home alabama
sirenxox (7:44:08 PM): deal*
sirenxox (7:45:04 PM): jesus on a pogo stick*
sirenxox (7:47:04 PM): and sour
sirenxox (7:47:37 PM): honey baked ham
sirenxox (7:47:46 PM): thang
sirenxox (7:48:24 PM): frosting
sirenxox (7:50:01 PM): your ass looks sooo
sirenxox (7:50:46 PM): honey bbq chicken
sirenxox (7:51:14 PM): aww what a ie pie
sirenxox (7:51:36 PM): be not dumb, nicky
sirenxox (7:51:49 PM): have a treat
sirenxox (7:52:39 PM): home home
sirenxox (7:52:52 PM): Briar
sirenxox (7:53:13 PM): and maxwell
sirenxox (7:53:37 PM): adeline
sirenxox (7:53:46 PM): MATTHEW
sirenxox (7:53:57 PM): leonard
sirenxox (7:54:08 PM): november
sirenxox (7:54:22 PM): honey in the rock
sirenxox (7:54:39 PM): lure of chocolate
sirenxox (7:54:46 PM): dreams
sirenxox (7:55:36 PM): michael
sirenxox (7:55:43 PM): lynn
sirenxox (7:55:58 PM): the hereafter
sirenxox (7:56:07 PM): valley high
sirenxox (7:56:19 PM): and lowdown
sirenxox (7:56:34 PM): ener
sirenxox (7:56:44 PM): sixteen
sirenxox (7:57:00 PM): tomatoes
sirenxox (7:57:04 PM): potatoes
sirenxox (7:57:14 PM): n' low
sirenxox (7:57:47 PM): carrot salad
sirenxox (7:57:50 PM): noise
sirenxox (7:58:14 PM): blend
sirenxox (7:58:27 PM): banana bread
sirenxox (7:59:05 PM): grass dairy
sirenxox (7:59:17 PM): factory
sirenxox (7:59:28 PM): grass records
sirenxox (7:59:49 PM): one
sirenxox (8:00:24 PM): pickle music
sirenxox (8:00:34 PM): the trials
sirenxox (8:00:58 PM): melody
sirenxox (8:01:09 PM): tooth
sirenxox (8:01:20 PM): onion
sirenxox (8:01:22 PM): cheeks
sirenxox (8:01:43 PM): peas
sirenxox (8:02:00 PM): graphics
sirenxox (8:02:03 PM): duration band
sirenxox (8:02:07 PM): room
sirenxox (8:02:48 PM): success
sirenxox (8:02:49 PM): tea
sirenxox (8:02:59 PM): trail mix
sirenxox (8:03:16 PM): RELEASE
sirenxox (8:03:36 PM): lemon butter recipe
sirenxox (8:03:41 PM): temptations
sirenxox (8:04:08 PM): pakistani
sirenxox (8:04:32 PM): as candy
sirenxox (8:05:15 PM): romanian pasta
sirenxox (8:05:26 PM): corn
sirenxox (8:05:43 PM): -sounding
sirenxox (8:05:54 PM): action magazine
sirenxox (8:06:00 PM): nutra
sirenxox (8:06:50 PM): farm equipment co.
sirenxox (8:06:59 PM): the spot
sirenxox (8:07:37 PM): melon and berries
sirenxox (8:08:20 PM): colleens
sirenxox (8:08:58 PM): serenity
sirenxox (8:09:23 PM): scentSations
sirenxox (8:09:52 PM): sago dumplings
sirenxox (8:10:18 PM): SMELL of success
sirenxox (8:10:30 PM): and savory
sirenxox (8:10:55 PM): home, oregon
sirenxox (8:11:31 PM): thursday
sirenxox (8:11:34 PM): right here
sirenxox (8:12:04 PM): basil carrots



*with help from Lizz :)


If you're going to comment about how I have no life, don't even bother. I've known for a long, long time.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Hold your nose

This is the first haircut that still looks good two days after I've showered.

:)

Hooray for dirty, smelly girls.

Anyone friends with a brain surgeon?

I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY SICK OF THINKING.

Sometimes, I seriously consider pulling a Pi and driving a powerdrill into my skull.

Marry me, Peace And Quiet.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Last Night Was Amazing.

I got a "tan".

I got a ride from Jason to Cassie's house with Shaina.

We got to the door and walked in and Nina, who I havent seen in months, started screaming at us to go back outside and knock. We did, and Nina opened the door for us?

We had some interesting refreshments, one of which spilled on the desk and the mousepad. I sucked it all up. Then we danced around like idiots and took disgusting amounts of pictures until Poodle showed up.

We tried to convince Harry Potter that I wanted to sleep with him. Our plan was to tell him once he believed us that I was born without any sexual organs, and I had to have tubes inserted at birth for waste purposes.

He agreed, but before we got to surprise him he disappeared. Party pooper.

We played pictionary online, but it got boring. So we played with Cassie's notebook. Shaina drew, and I gave her the words. All of them somehow had something to do with feces. Except Hellen Keller.

We watched The Notebook.

Bad idea...that's all.

A few hours later, Cassie went to sleep and Shaina, Nina and I messed around with Shai's guitar.

I wouldn't shut up about my mocccassin-making kit at A.C. Moore. I was gonna make moccassins. Come on.

Somehow, a deck of cards became involved, and Poodle decided to teach Nina and Shai how to play Egyptian Ratscrew. I didn't feel like paying attention while he explained it, so I watched and listened until I got the idea, re-named it Egyption Buttpoop, slapped into the game, and won.

"SWEET DEAL"
"WHAT that was so mine, I SAW it before you did"
"SWEET DEAL"
"Shut up."
"Two things have to add up to ten, but ten adds up to ten. Can I slap a ten?"
"No."
"Father fluffer!"
"SWEET DEAL"
"Shut UP"
"Stay outside of the six-inch circle at all times"
"Oh, Poodle, you WISH six inches looked like that."
"Ten adds up to TEN!"
"I! No it's MINE I touched it! I put it down! When I put the card down!"
"You suck."
"You suck."
"Ten adds up to ten."
"You suck."
"You suck."
"SWEET DEAL"
"You suck."
"SWEET DEAL"
"SHUT UP"
"TEN adds up to TEN!"
*slap* "JUST KIDDING- I WAS JUST KIDDING. I WAS."
*slap* "I didnt mean that."
"SWEET DEAL"
"SHUT UP"
*slap* "HAHA JUST KIDDING!!!!!!"
"WHAT? Six and four do NOT add up to ten"
"NO THAT WAS MINE HE PUT HIS HAND UNDER MY HAND THAT'S MINE I NEED IT MORE THAN YOU DO MINE"
"Ten adds up to ten"
"SWEET DEAL"

This continued until the sun came up.

Then I changed into my pajamas.

Poodle and Shai fell asleep. I took a few thousand pictures of the sun. A bit obsessed.

Nina's mom picked her up. I fell asleep under Poodle's jacket.

We woke up at 11:30. Cassie came downstairs. We played Egyptian Buttpoop for a while longer. We were very tired. It was an interesting game.

Poodle left.

We played guitar.

A telemarketer from MCI called. Cassie wasn't gonna pick it, up, but Shai volunteered to speak. She proposed to him. He said maybe. She tried to sell him a magazine. She asked him where he lived. ARIZONA?? We told him we were 19. He told us he was Mexican. She told him I was in love with him. We tried to make plans for him to smuggle me over the boarder to Mexico and leave me there. Damn it. Shai told him she had another call, asked him to hold, and we sang him The Girl from Impanema. When we "came back," he was still there.

I love our little telemarketer.

We palyed another game of Egyptian Buttpoop.

We downloaded the strangest music in the world, talked A LOT, and Cassie finally kicked us out.

<3